We tend to have lots of excuses: I don’t have time, I don’t have enough money, it’s too hard, I’m too old, I’m too young…. Excuses are a great way to avoid doing something you ‘ought’ to do, or having something you really (deep down inside) don’t think you deserve. Human beings tend to focus on the negative (I need to lose weight, I’ll never have enough money, there’s not enough time, etc.) rather than on the positive (I want to be healthy, I deserve this, I can make time for it). Since we tend to attract what we think, is it any wonder that most people are unhappy?

I work primarily with High Achieving Women, and I’ve found that a common characteristic among them is a strong desire to make a difference in this world. Many of them are frustrated because they don’t exactly know how to do this; how can only one person make a positive impact on the world?

In gathering information for my High-Achieving Woman article on recognition, I interviewed the CIO of a local company who is very satisfied with where she is in her life. When we talked about recognition, she made an insightful comment, that maybe the reason why women feel they aren’t recognized enough is because they don’t value themselves enough. Therefore, they look outwardly for validation and value. This really made me think. On the one hand, we want to be acknowledged for the work we do, at the very least so that we know we’re on the right track.

I’m still reading the book Positivity by Barbara Frederickson. It’s been very enlightening! Here are some ideas she has about changing your negative spiral to a positive, uplifting one:

I attended a teleseminar today on change vs. transformation that was very enlightening. Change is small scale, inwardly-facing, and all about adjusting your DOING. Transformation is large-scale, outwardly-facing and all about adjusting your BEING. Think changing positions in a company vs. losing your job and trying to find another one.
Transformation tends to be frightening to us humans, but there are ways to support ourselves during the evolution:

• Challenge your assumptions and perceptions. Is this a fact, or a belief? Keep your mind open and stay real.

I’ve always had trouble meditating – I simply can’t sit still for any length of time. But recently I tried Japa meditation, made popular by Dr. Wayne Dyer in his CD “Meditations for Manifesting”. In Japa meditation, you take a deep breath, and slowly breath out while you make the sound “Aaaah”. This is the sound of the creator, as is evidenced by the many names given the creator: God, Allah, Buddha, Krishna, Ra, Dao. All these names have the “Ah” sound in common. I’ve found that calmly repeating this sound allows me to focus my tumultuous mind for up to 20 minutes!

This morning as I drove into work, I noticed the patterns of the red taillights as cars wove back and forth through the heavy traffic. The rain limited my vision, narrowing the world into a wet, grey veil illuminated only by the taillights. I started to enjoy the interplay of the lights, the patterns as some lanes sped up, others slowed down. I thought of all those people driving into work, and how lucky we all were to be employed, and safe and dry and warm in our cars. This led me to think of all those who aren’t so lucky, those without jobs, or without cars, or even without shelter.

I was driving in to work the other day, and was caught behind an enormous tractor-trailer truck trundling along at about 10 mph under the speed limit. Now, you know how I like to drive fast, and it’s always a challenge to curb my impatience and drive slowly. I looked at this behemoth in front of me, and it seemed to take up my entire field of view. The more I looked, the bigger it seemed until my whole world seemed to consist of this large, lumbering truck blocking my forward progress.

This morning as I was driving in through scattered showers, I noticed how the trees were starting to leaf. There were startling colors of white, russet, magenta and spring green in the forest lining the highway, punctuated with occasional white flowering cherry trees. The effect was subtle and glorious. I was thrilled to see the leaves and flowers bursting joyfully forth. Part of what I love is that the trees don’t go to all this trouble to send out beautiful flowers and leaves because they should, it’s just what they do, it’s part of their whole, what keeps them alive.

I was walking through my favorite winding forest path today, the sun warm on my shoulders. The trees are still bare, although the buds are fattening up nicely. Peepers have started singing like their lives depending on it, thrilling me with the promise of spring. I looked up, and noticed that I could see quite a bit of the path in front of me. Actually, it was almost beside me, as it winds in exaggerated loops that help extend the walking experience. Seeing those loops stopped me for a moment, staring in disappointment.